Jane’s Story

Jane’s Story

I have read stories written by others that have helped to give me renewed strength and I hope to do the same.

My ex-husband was having an affair for over a year and I found out three months before it all came to a head.  That’s when my world literally fell apart.  We have a daughter with learning difficulties and she was 9 at the time.  Once the affair was out in the open he left quickly.

At the time I felt my whole world had fallen away.  I felt vulnerable, scared, and could see no light, only darkness.  I went into shock and my body felt like it was shaking inside and my heart was pounding out of my chest.  I couldn’t sleep and visited the doctor, but he was reluctant to prescribe antidepressants so gave me beta blockers and sleeping tablets to calm me down.  I took the beta blockers but not the sleeping tablets as I still had my daughter to care for and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to function.  To this day I am glad I never had antidepressants.

I was worried about my daughter and for her sake I tried to maintain a civil relationship with my ex-husband despite going through a rocky divorce. Her welfare was my main priority and I worked hard to protect her from what was going on.

My recovery was slow, but my daughter, friends and family became my saviours.  There were times I wanted to say no to every offer of a night out, weekend away or a holiday with friends but I rarely did.  I accepted as many offers as I could and pushed myself to get up, get dressed, socialise, try, and got myself back out there.

I dated unsuccessfully because I wasn’t ready.  I didn’t know who I was as a person and that takes time.

Gradually I felt more comfortable with myself, my life, my lot if you like and you very quickly come to realise that it is not the material things you have in your life that makes everything worthwhile but close family, friends and workmates, and their kindness and understanding.  In time my friends stepped back a little as they seen me gaining strength and more able to cope on my own.

Taking yourself out of your comfort zone and being brave enough to try new things is the key to good mental health.  I joined a community choir – what a stress buster that was and what great friends I have made and such good fun.

I signed up for a boot camp and now have an extended family – likeminded people coming together for the same purpose – what a buzz!  Yoga too to calm that over-worked brain.

Together with vitamin and magnesium supplements I am the best I have ever been, sleeping easy for the first time in my life with a renewed energy to embrace each day as it comes.